Introducing Emerson Marie

Emerson Marie!

On August 21 I dropped J off for his second day of school and went to work. I  had an upset stomach most the day but got as much done as I could. After school I got caught up in talking and had to head straight to my doctors appointment instead of stopping home. 

I drank lots of water, changed my clothes at the doc and started feeling contractions. They hooked me up to the non stress test and I tried to relax thinking about picking J up and dinner. 

The nurse wasn't liking the reading from the beginning. Water or crackers she asked. As I had both, the contractions were getting stronger. When I changed rooms to see the doc I had chills and shakes. She came in and very matter of fact said she will be sending me to labor and delivery, it's time to have the baby. 

An earlier ultrasound had concluded our baby girl was small, a predicted size percentage that was just inside the "danger zone." Although no medical concern as to why was found the size alone was enough for them to warrant induction in the 38th week. I was two days shy of this mark. 

Tears immediately filled my eyes. Emotions running wild of excitement, relief, sadness, and fear. 

My first reaction was for Jackson. I promised my baby boy I would pick him up from school. Did I really just have the last morning of just the two of us? He was so brave to go to school and now I wont be picking him up as promised. 

I couldn't believe though that after all these weeks the day was finally here. I would meet my baby girl so soon. Was it too early though? Will she be ok, weigh enough, will she need the NICU? Why was the non-stress test non reactive? 

They wheel chaired me to labor and delivery where I was placed in a holding room since all birthing rooms were full. I made several phone calls, sent some emails and tried to gather all my thoughts to tie loose ends. My husband arrived first with my hospital bag that he had to finish putting together and dinner, aka my last meal before child birth. Jackson visited a little later with my parents; they had picked him up from school, the last kid left. I could hear him in the hall before he came in, "my mommy is in there, want to see my mommy." 

He appeared in the room with a big smile that immediately evaporated into a worried and confused expression. Mommy looked different to him, he could tell this was not all normal. He coiled back to Grandpa when I reached with open arms and all the excitement in my voice I could muster to ask him to come sit with me. Tears immediately filled my eyes. My heart ached that I let him down by not picking him up from school. I felt a little guilty for being so excited to welcome baby girl. And sad that so many things I cherished so deeply between Jackson and I were inevitably going to change. He warmed up to me being in the hospital bed enough to sit by me and smile for a picture. When I saw him next we were a family of four. 

We stayed in the holding room a while before moving to a birthing room. My contractions continued strong on their own till about 8pm. Because of the baby's predicted size, the doctor was going to induce slowly. Throughout the night I had pitocin and by 8am Friday I had made just a little progress. The doctor broke my water at that time, speeding things up for sure. An epidural was ordered just in time and by 11am I was finally feeling comfortable as contractions were increasing. A little before noon I was ready to push. Things were frantic for a bit as nurses were running in and out. They were waiting for NICU and neonatal to come in, and the doctor! As I could feel the urge to push and meet baby girl become overwhelming, everyone was finally in the room at noon. One contraction and five minutes later baby girl was crying loudly. 

It was a huge sigh of relief to hear her yell. I couldn't believe she was here...and ok! All initial signs showed a healthy baby but they whisked her to the back of the room to be checked out by neonatal and NICU. By the time my husband could come over to me the doctor and the nurse checking on Emerson were saying there best wishes and good byes. Almost comedically they left as fast as they came, saying she was strong and healthy. 

She was a gorgeous 5 pounds 4 ounces and 18 inches long. She was wide awake and alert when I was first able to hold her. It all felt surreal as she was placed in my arms. Tears filled my eyes and I felt my body and my mind relax for the first time in a long time. 

Emerson Marie was here. She was healthy. She was bigger than expected.

She has Finke ears and a Lee chin, soft lips and a head shape the same as Jackson's. I swear I see hints of grey blue in her eyes. Her hair is dark brown and her skin is gorgeous. She squeaks something so innocent and soft to your ear. She is so tiny but yet so big. However she is strong, fighting her first bath by the nurse and moving her head all around while being held. She was perfect.