The Working Mom

In the summer I am mostly a stay at home mom. But from late August through the end of May I am a full time teacher and coach. I work.

The SAHM vs. working mom feud is frustrating and annoying. It is your choice what category you fall into, each choice has its positives and negatives, sacrifices and gains. The choice may be because of child care, beliefs on who should raise your kids or strictly financial. Its a choice that you make that is best for your family.

Let me tell you though, first hand experience in both worlds...being a working mom is HARD.

It all revolves around deadlines. It requires quick flip of mental organization and it demands your full attention. There is no down time. That drive to work is not a mental break from toddler talk and diapers, it is a mental prep/sort/stress, as you prepare for work, as you switch from mom to career lady.

The most challenging times are morning and bedtime. They are both a race against the clock at the most irritable times of the day.

I hate to rush my kids. I feel guilty, can get stressed, try to be patient and sometimes fail. We have to rush around in the morning and in the evening and Jackson tries to drag it all out (sometimes not intentionally).

I long to just let him follow his constant distractions and take more time to let him sleep/wake up/play till more tired. We can't though because...I work.

Being on a schedule, having a structure, is important. This however is the biggest difference between working and staying home. There are daily responsibilities. The real world has deadlines, punctuality, and consequences.

I want my kids to know this. I want them to see time management, preparation, and organization. I want them to understand how to work under pressure and to be able to handle life.

Life isn't one task at a time, especially not in our digital world. Life isn't pajama days just because or TV marathons and play dates....and if it is, its because you already earned that opportunity. You had a work oriented set of skills and now you can make those choices.

My work choice doesn't allow couch snuggles, bottles and pancakes at any and every moment. It is daily hard to say good bye, to see pictures that are sent to me, to be uncertain of what they are doing, to wonder why they are tired at night (or maybe not), why they are starving, have blue finger nails or are telling me what they did without me there. It is painful to hear him say "I missed you." It is tearful to watch a tiny, innocent face smile at you then show actual confusion as you leave. It is sad to find out that they learned something new...and you don't know when.

It's challenging, to answer questions of why do we have to, I don't want to, can't we do this. As I fight sleep (or my early alarm) its sad to debate in my head about what has to get done. Groceries. Meal prep. Laundry. Pirate battles. Bills to pay. Doctors appointments. Teeth  brushed. Clean house.

These all still get done between snuggles and the work day. They are all important and despite criticism, they are all about my kids.

I am not here to say one choice is above the other, but I am here to say that being a working mom is hard.