Emerson Marie - 1 Month

Our little miss is already a month old. Although she feels bigger to us, she is still a peanut weighing in just at/around 6 pounds (no doctors appointment till two months so I did the weigh yourself and the baby then just yourself and subtract method). 

She is becoming more alert for longer. Although her gaze only catches me for a short time before her eyes dart to something else, I could stare into her big gray/blue eyes for a long time. 

She grips onto her giraffe Wubanub something fierce whenever she can. She holds onto the body most the time but once in a while has a death grip around its neck and sometimes manages to actually grab the pacifier itself to hold into her mouth.

When you burp her she desperately tries to move her head around to see or maybe just get away. Since her first few hours of life she had amazing head and neck strength lifting off of our shoulder and looking around. Now it is more controlled and less scarily sudden. 

Jackson is already a great big brother to Emerson. When she fusses or cries he stops what he is playing with and goes to check on her. It is the most adorable thing to hear him introduce her to people. Sometimes without being asked he says "This is baby sister, Emerson." His pronunciation that does not clearly say the R sound coupled by the proud smile he has on his face and his hand gestures when he says "see" to show her off absolutely melt my heart.

She is more easy going than I remember Jackson being and when she does want something she lets you know with this single (repeated to a cry if you don't respond) loud yell that seems to say "I'm here and need you, fix it now!" When she cries for longer she is uncomfortable and gassy.

She has overall slept pretty well. Since week one she would have 3+ hour blocks of sleep at night. After her two week check we let her wake us up to eat. Although sometimes she is waking us up crying loudly just because she is trying to poop, she is still allowing one 4 hour block of sleep most nights. It is becoming harder for me to fall back asleep at night but I deeply cherish the little one-on-one time and snuggles I get with her. Different than Jackson, she hates to be swaddled and loves to have her arms out by her face. 

Emerson Marie you have brought us such joy over the past month. I long for your sleepy smiles and little squeaky whimpers. You have a serious side that is helping you try to learn all you can as fast as you can. When your big eyes stare sweetly at me, your little head tilts to your right. Each time I hold you in my arms as your relaxing after eating, I see your petite facial structure that I saw in each ultrasound; round head beautifully curved to cheeks that are delicately angled to a point at your chin. Your perfect lips makes this soft round circle as your eyes start to wonder around. It is all frozen in my mind as you won't be this little for long. 

You are beautiful baby girl. We love you. 

Fall is here

Apple picking was first on our fall agenda.

Last year once Jackson had an apple to munch on he did nothing else. This time he ate two apples and picked about four. 

 He really enjoyed himself and was willing to share the apple he was eating with us. 

Despite all the apples, the tractors may have been his favorite part of the day. 

Something I was extremely excited to try with all our harvested apples was homemade applesauce. Jackson practically lives on applesauce and fruit snacks so I knew he'd be thrilled to help make it. I mainly went off a recipe of a friend of my mother-in-law. It turned out DELICIOUS!

Crockpot Applesauce

Peel, core and chop as many apples as will fill your crockpot 

Add 2-3 tablespoons of brown sugar

Add cinnamon to taste (I let Jackson shake this in so I have no idea how much we used, but it certainly was not a little bit)

Cook for several hours till apples are real soft and stirring them together mushes them up. We left ours with some larger pieces but everything was soft. 

Baby sister made her debut at our garden recently. The weeds have overtaken it, the tomatos plants are wilting and producing less and the pumpkin vine has snaked through the plot. We are pumped to have two pumpkins growing that we should be able to pick right in the beginning of October. They are a smaller variety so maybe not for a jack-o-latern but festive non the less. Jackson was real excited about them. To help curb his urge to pick it we let him rub it for good luck. You can see him doing so above in his adorable Mickey gardening gloves. 

Looking forward to more fun fall activities soon!

Little Moments, Big Memories

Little moments that quickly go that never want to be forgotten. 

It was either a Monday or a Thursday because football was on TV after Matt was home from work. We were all in the family room and Jackson was bouncing from toy to item he uses as a toy. He wanted to play "sticky hug" with Matt. It's this tickle and jump in couch game that Jackson coined Sticky Hug. He very clearly requested his daddy's full attention..."Put your "puter" (computer) away daddy". With a big smile he did. 

At the library they have book marks with animal faces on them. You can pop the eyes out to then hold them up to your face to be the animal. Jackson took one again but this time made a request. "I take one for my baby sister." He was excited to show her when he got home. 

"Jackson are you hungry?"

"Want pizza or something?"

"Yeah, something."

Lately Jackson has been asking about my day before bed. He wants to hear what I did before we talk about his day. Today I told him that my day started by getting to go to the coffee shop with my two little kiddos. When it was J's turn he started with "My day was wonderful. Went to coffee shop with my kiddos."

Little Moments, Big Memories

Little moments that quickly go, but never wish to be forgotten:

On the day we brought Emerson home we are all sitting as a family together for the first time. Jackson and I are sitting on the couch while Matt is sitting in the little chair holding Emerson. J, sitting to my right, turns on the couch and puts his hand on my now very different belly. You can tell he is unsure. He pats it and inquisitively looks up at me. I say "Baby sister is not in there any more." He repeats what I said, I reply, "no, she's not." He pauses to think for a brief moment before asking "I can jump on you now??"

The second day we were all home together I was holding Emerson in the loft and Jackson was playing with Matt right there too. He decided he wanted to throw his toy hammer at me. I told him he can't throw it by baby sister. He paused while in thought and then very matter of fact said "Give Emerson to Daddy." I smiled before doing just that so I could catch a thrown toy hammer. 

My husband and I were talking to J in the family room and said he could go play in the garage. He asked if I was coming, I told him yes with baby sister. He then said all our names and said very proudly, "our whole family!"

Out of the blue at dinner on the third day Emerson was home Jackson said "I'm glad baby sister is here." He said it again so calmly and matter of fact.  He even said it with a little smile, one that showed he was warming up to the whole idea, even genuinely happy about it. 

J and I were upstairs playing when I needed to change Emerson's diaper. 
Me: "I'm going to change baby sister." 

J: "No, don't. She will cry."

He follows me into their room. 

She starts crying loud as I change her. J comes over, concerned. He almost immediately picks up her pacifier and puts it in her mouth without prompting from me. She grips, sucks and calms right down. 

Jackson and I went to the park just the two of us. There was another mom their with her boys and two girls that she watches. The one girl was just Jackson's age wearing a real pretty summer dress. Jackson saw her and asked me if he could play with her. I told him yes and he ran up to her. The two went up and down slides. As I was talking to the mom a few minutes later, with GREAT excitement, Jackson came running over..."Mommy, mommy, she said hi!!" He had a huge smile on his face. I caught him as he ran into me with a hug and asked if he said hi back. He paused and still smiling turned around and ran off back to her. I heard a hi as I watched with a big smile of my own. 

Introducing Emerson Marie

Emerson Marie!

On August 21 I dropped J off for his second day of school and went to work. I  had an upset stomach most the day but got as much done as I could. After school I got caught up in talking and had to head straight to my doctors appointment instead of stopping home. 

I drank lots of water, changed my clothes at the doc and started feeling contractions. They hooked me up to the non stress test and I tried to relax thinking about picking J up and dinner. 

The nurse wasn't liking the reading from the beginning. Water or crackers she asked. As I had both, the contractions were getting stronger. When I changed rooms to see the doc I had chills and shakes. She came in and very matter of fact said she will be sending me to labor and delivery, it's time to have the baby. 

An earlier ultrasound had concluded our baby girl was small, a predicted size percentage that was just inside the "danger zone." Although no medical concern as to why was found the size alone was enough for them to warrant induction in the 38th week. I was two days shy of this mark. 

Tears immediately filled my eyes. Emotions running wild of excitement, relief, sadness, and fear. 

My first reaction was for Jackson. I promised my baby boy I would pick him up from school. Did I really just have the last morning of just the two of us? He was so brave to go to school and now I wont be picking him up as promised. 

I couldn't believe though that after all these weeks the day was finally here. I would meet my baby girl so soon. Was it too early though? Will she be ok, weigh enough, will she need the NICU? Why was the non-stress test non reactive? 

They wheel chaired me to labor and delivery where I was placed in a holding room since all birthing rooms were full. I made several phone calls, sent some emails and tried to gather all my thoughts to tie loose ends. My husband arrived first with my hospital bag that he had to finish putting together and dinner, aka my last meal before child birth. Jackson visited a little later with my parents; they had picked him up from school, the last kid left. I could hear him in the hall before he came in, "my mommy is in there, want to see my mommy." 

He appeared in the room with a big smile that immediately evaporated into a worried and confused expression. Mommy looked different to him, he could tell this was not all normal. He coiled back to Grandpa when I reached with open arms and all the excitement in my voice I could muster to ask him to come sit with me. Tears immediately filled my eyes. My heart ached that I let him down by not picking him up from school. I felt a little guilty for being so excited to welcome baby girl. And sad that so many things I cherished so deeply between Jackson and I were inevitably going to change. He warmed up to me being in the hospital bed enough to sit by me and smile for a picture. When I saw him next we were a family of four. 

We stayed in the holding room a while before moving to a birthing room. My contractions continued strong on their own till about 8pm. Because of the baby's predicted size, the doctor was going to induce slowly. Throughout the night I had pitocin and by 8am Friday I had made just a little progress. The doctor broke my water at that time, speeding things up for sure. An epidural was ordered just in time and by 11am I was finally feeling comfortable as contractions were increasing. A little before noon I was ready to push. Things were frantic for a bit as nurses were running in and out. They were waiting for NICU and neonatal to come in, and the doctor! As I could feel the urge to push and meet baby girl become overwhelming, everyone was finally in the room at noon. One contraction and five minutes later baby girl was crying loudly. 

It was a huge sigh of relief to hear her yell. I couldn't believe she was here...and ok! All initial signs showed a healthy baby but they whisked her to the back of the room to be checked out by neonatal and NICU. By the time my husband could come over to me the doctor and the nurse checking on Emerson were saying there best wishes and good byes. Almost comedically they left as fast as they came, saying she was strong and healthy. 

She was a gorgeous 5 pounds 4 ounces and 18 inches long. She was wide awake and alert when I was first able to hold her. It all felt surreal as she was placed in my arms. Tears filled my eyes and I felt my body and my mind relax for the first time in a long time. 

Emerson Marie was here. She was healthy. She was bigger than expected.

She has Finke ears and a Lee chin, soft lips and a head shape the same as Jackson's. I swear I see hints of grey blue in her eyes. Her hair is dark brown and her skin is gorgeous. She squeaks something so innocent and soft to your ear. She is so tiny but yet so big. However she is strong, fighting her first bath by the nurse and moving her head all around while being held. She was perfect.